Perfectionism! The Biggest Obstacle to Success

On the road to success, we encounter many obstacles. If it weren't so, achieving success would be too easy, right? When we look at some people, it seems as though they face no obstacles and effortlessly achieve success in everything they undertake. Could this really be true? Could these people have a secret unknown to others?

I'm going to share that secret with you.

Let me answer directly: yes! Successful people have a secret! Their definition of perfect is different from many others. For them, perfection is what they can do. Thus, their definition of perfect varies depending on the situation. Having done any exercise during the day is already perfect in itself. They don’t fuss about missing three steps or two sets. Did I exercise? Yes! Then I’ve done a great job. This involves aligning your expectations with what you can do. There is always a better version possible for everything, and they are aware that there is no end to this. Therefore, what is done that day is perfect.

But doesn't this sound a bit like deceiving oneself? I hear you might ask. Let me answer immediately, no it is not. You can choose to see it as deceiving yourself, but I’m going to explain the essence of it. Many times, the real issue with doing something is just getting started. If you can dedicate time to it during the day, that is already perfect. Consistently allocating time to a task ensures continuity. Eventually, this consistency will lead you to success. When you look at it from this broader perspective, the things you label as incomplete during the day lose their significance. Moreover, not fitting your definition of perfect only kills your motivation to continue. It would be better if only your motivation died, but it affects many other things as well.

Let’s lay these out on the table.

1. Fear of starting: Let’s assume you have a perfect definition for a task! For example; you’re going to start a diet. Your eating and exercise plan is flawless. There's no way you wouldn't succeed if you follow this program. But it’s so perfect that you start thinking you can’t be that perfect. Suddenly, you’re going to cut out carbs and sugar, plus there's daily walking and exercise. Such a big change all at once scares you, and you can’t start. However, if you had tried an easier way to start and knew that doing as much as you can was perfect for you at that moment, you would have already started.

2. Constant procrastination: In this imperfect world, striving for a perfect ideal makes starting anything the hardest task. Let's contunie with an example! You have an important exam and you need to study hard. You’ve defined the ideal study session as 8 hours straight, with complete focus. Before you even start, you’re overwhelmed. You begin to procrastinate. You said you’d start in an hour, but half the day has already passed. Then, there isn’t even enough time left to study for 8 hours. Another day ends without having started at all. Perfectionism is one of the biggest barriers to getting started.

3. Over-detailing: If you call something perfect, every detail must be thought out. Just thinking about the details can be a waste of time in itself. Often, dealing with details can prevent you from getting to the heart of the matter. Getting bogged down in details slows progress and makes it harder to reach goals.

4. Self-doubt: Perfectionism often leads to constant feelings of inadequacy. The goal seems so big that no matter what we do, we can’t reach it. After a point, this feeling of inadequacy starts to undermine our self-confidence. We all know how much self-confidence contributes to success. Therefore, we need to find a way to break this vicious cycle.

5. Learning becomes difficult: As a result of the above points, perfectionists struggle to start and stay on the path. However, one of the most enduring and wise ways to learn is by learning along the way. If we intend to learn something, we need to start by focusing on the smallest steps. Each step is a new adventure and contains lessons. We quickly recognize our mistakes and continue on with new actions. While it is difficult for perfection-oriented people to start, learning from their mistakes along the way is another handicap.

How can we control perfectionism?

• Start by changing your definition of perfect. Frequently remind yourself that whatever part of the task you accomplished today is perfect for the day.

• Recognise when you start forming perfectionist narratives. Instead of saying, "I must work five hours today," replace it with "I will look into this task during the day."

• Make realistic plans for tasks. If you can’t complete your plans, you haven’t yet learned to plan correctly. Reduce your expectations for the next day by half.

• Instead of waiting to perform perfectly, aim not to waste the day.

• Breaking big projects into small, manageable parts facilitates completion and ensures continuous progress. Stay in the game by taking small steps.

• Adapting to changing conditions and being flexible breaks the rigidity of perfectionism and makes achieving success easier.

Although perfectionism may initially seem like a path to success, it is actually a significant obstacle. Overcoming this barrier is key to achieving more satisfying and sustainable success in both personal and professional life. Understanding the limitations brought by perfectionism and coping with them will help us fully realise our potential.

Stay well until the next article 👋